I accidentally pronounce the word “doughnut” as dog nut. So today when my mom asked what I wanted for breakfast, I replied, “Could you pick up some dog nuts?”
One time these kids were throwing small rocks at my dogs through the fence while I was in the backyard. I got mad, so I threw a giant rock over the fence as a response, and I guess they didn’t see me because they started to freak out.
Just kidding. I never found a rock big enough.
One time, I had the song “Magic” stuck in my head. And what did do? Well, if you must know, I screamed/sang the lyrics very loudly at night, and the next thing I knew two police officers pulled up to my house with their sirens on and I’m all like, “Dammit Barry!” and hid for like 5 minutes in (no not on) my recliner, and waited. But then I got bored so I sneakily (gotta be sneaky Chaaarrrlie) checked outside and saw that three police officers pulled over this dude that may or may not have been drunk and why would it take TWO police cars and THREE policeman for ONE tipsy dude? I don’t know. Anywhoozles, I was like “Pftshishhhhhh they crazy.” And the craziest part was that they didn’t even ARREST THE GUY! I would know because I saw him drive away. They needed two police cars and three policeman to right up a ticket?! But hey, I guess that’s how life is. I think. Anyway, so that’s what happened, I looked away from the window, and continued to watch The King of Queens. The End.
Just kidding. I don’t sing.
Why do we say “Good morning!” As in “hello!” But “Good night” as in “Good bye”?
Indeed good sir.
Hey, I have an idea! Let’s all start saying “wizard” instead of cool and see if that starts catching on. Oh, Darth Vader. What would we do without you?
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